Thursday, April 22, 2010

The Great Dog Naming Debate

We're very dog friendly here at 41 Planters Glen Drive.  Although, we're not, "bring your Great Dane or Irish Wolfhound over and let them take a 'Clydesdale' dump in our yard" friendly, but for the most part canines fair well at Casa Laugisch.  We even had the distinct pleasure of sharing our home with a certain brown Cocker Spaniel for ten years.  Buster was an awesome dog but I refuse to care for another animal that has to spend the entire day by itself.  We don't have children and are both working professionals...least wise, Claudia is a professional teacher...I dabble at being a professional.  I cant bear to think of how lonely that can be for a dog to be couped up in a house all day...waiting and waiting.  We decided that we would forgo the responsibility of taking on another pet til at least one of us was retired. 

It has been decreed that,  regardless of what breed we decide to adopt, it will be a combo pair, either a brother-brother, sister-sister or the dealers choice, sister-brother, combo.  She is leaning toward the brother-sister combo and I'm in favor of two boys. It got us to thinking about prospective names for these beasts.

Do you know the most popular dog name?  According to this organization, Veterinarian Pet Insurance, Max has been the most popular dog name for the past six years.  Here's the top ten:  Max, Baily, Buddy, Molly, Maggie, Lucy, Daily, Bella, Jake and Rocky.  Those names are fine if your generation was watching Howdy Doody, some are ok, but the others have to go.  There was one interesting name that didn't make the top ten, but I was more surprised anyone would name their dog this:  Gizmo.  As this is my blog and I get to make the rules, that right there is a stupid name and the result of poor know this is where  Mom and Dad just caved into the kids wishes and allowed the protector of the family to walk through life with some moronic title.  I'm here to put an end to this, right now.

I will get to what Claudia and I decided upon for the names of our future dogs in a minute, but in the mean time I'm going to give a remedial course in how to name your dog.  Male dogs are easy, because, naturally, I'm a guy and I usually leave the "foo-foo" stuff to Claudia anyways.  To start, the Dog is a symbol of strength and they react strongly to visible leadership..."Muffy" is not going to be the Alpha male of the pack no matter what breed it is...that's a name for a Gerbil.  Hondo is a name I always wanted to give a dog.  It is a tribute to one of my favorite authors, Louis La Mour and his book by the same name.  Duke and Dutch are solid names as are Patton, Ike and MacArthur which keeps you grounded to that leadership theme.  You could also classify male dogs in the blue collar category, especially if they're lacking that distinct leadership trait and go with Hank, Ralph or Stan. These are the dogs that will carry the mail for you, chase the cats and cars and annoyingly bark at anyone who comes in the yard.  My sister, Laurie, had a brindle colored French/Belgian Mastiff that was close to 160 lbs...he was a big bastard and had a fitting name...Titan.

As for the girl canines, I tend to feel they deserve a feminine quality to their name, but be careful and remember...Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.... Dixie is a favorite for me living here in the South.  I love  the previously mentioned Molly and Claudia's sister Brenda and her family had a chocolate lab named Madison who was the most majestic and lady-like dog I have ever known.  Some others I'm fond of are Daisy, Biscuit, Lulu,  and Ema.  One of the more striking names I've heard was Abbey Rose, man...I love that handle.

Back to our little quandary of future names.  It goes without saying that the breed has to play an important part in all'll get a chuckle out of this one...we're going to get 2 English Bulldogs.  Yeah, I knew you would like it...can you see me and Claudia walking these short, fat behemoths in the park?  Anyways, as I said earlier she is leaning toward the Brother-Sister combo and naming them Ike and Tina...please, I hope no one needs me to help them get that one.  I like it and it is a helluva a conversation piece.  My names, if I get the opportunity to pick 2 brothers would be Thurl and Cozelle.  It's a WOLFPACK thing...Thurl Bailey and Cozelle McQueen were stalwarts on the 1983 NCAA championship team and I thought it would be a fitting honor to name my dogs after them.  There you have to name your dog...go forth and make this a better world for that lovable four legged friend of yours and give them a name they can be proud of.


  1. Funny post. I hate stupid dog names, too. Love English Bull Dogs, great choice! Not as good as Pugs, of course, but no other breed is.
    When we named our Lola, a good friend got her brother and I really wanted to name them George and Weezy (after the Jeffersons, of course). But I was the only one who thought that was a good idea. I had a black lab and yellow lab once and their names were Molly and Sam (from Ghost). But back to Lola. I then wanted to name her Ruby or Rudy, but Greg hated those names. So, I then offered up my third choice, Mrs. Beasley. He couldn't believe I wanted to name a dog anything that started with Mrs. so I moved on to Aunt Lola. I don't know if you remember her, but Thomas Brown's mother was called Aunt Lola by one and all (whether there was any relation or not) and so Greg agreed to Lola if I'd drop the Aunt part. And, her name couldn't have been more fitting.
    When we got Brody, it wasn't as easy. I read name after name after name out loud and nothing seemed to match this abnormally tall and long little Pug puppy that was staring up at us. Finally, I read the name Brody and we liked it and it stuck. Though most of the time, we call him Bubba. Actually, I call him Bubba Boatwright, in honor of a boy I remember from elementary school who had that unfortunate moniker. Seems I'm a true Southerner. I love two names. Now, he answers to Brody, Bubba, Bubba Boatwright and Bub Bub. Since he has no ability to protect us (unless you can actually be licked to death) I didn't feel the need to give him a burly name.
    My basset hounds were Amos, Moses and the last one was Winston, named after my dad because they shared a very obvious characteristic -- saggy jaws. I could go on and on, but I'll spare you. Enjoyed the post, as always!

  2. Krista,
    "George & Weezy" are awesome. That is so original. I do remember Aunt Lola, and throw in the song "Lola" from the Kinks and they are the only two I think I know of. I should have put 2 and 2 together once I saw "Lola" was your dog's name. A friend posted on my Facebook a couple of names also..."Homer and Marge." This has the potential to be book material. Thanks for the kind comments.